Ties Mellema blogt

Onze solist van afgelopen weekend Ties Mellema schrijft regelmatig blogberichten op zijn eigen website. Na afloop van onze concertreeks “Hemels” publiceerde Ties dit blogbericht. Wij zijn trots!

“Done. Now I go on.”

Door Ties Mellema | Bron: http://tiesmellema.nl/#!/blog/31-january-2016

I just finished the two performances of the Denisov Concert for alto saxophone and orchestra, the Dutch premier. And I felt satisfied about them. I played well and felt good on stage. Also some colleagues commented that they liked my playing. Which is the best test case. A concert is always a bit more exciting with a colleague in the hall.

Right now I am still full of adrenaline. Probably I will crash tonight or tomorrow. But it was certainly worth it. The piece and the people I worked with gave me so much energy.
Arjan Tien, the conductor, became a good friend of mine while working together. And the orchestra was fantastic. They tried so hard to do the Denisov and succeeded! Not only musically (bravo!!) but also production-whise: raise the extra money for the percussion and the rent of the scores. And to programme something avant-garde-ish like this takes a lot of courage.

And it all came together perfectly!

It was probably a show of a bit too much hubris to undertake this project. But I felt I had to do it. I practiced this piece during my chemo therapy and I wanted to close something off, or rather, start a new period. Not that I am better yet. I still lack muscle power and the fatigue can be quite overwhelming. But not this weekend! I played, and played well, even if I don’t count that I had a chemo some weeks ago I can say this.

No reset and rest, train, and try to get back in my daily rhythm. Because one the reasons I could do this was that I hardly do anything else yet. But I could never work a week of 50 hours like seven months ago. And maybe I shouldn’t anymore.

Well, that’s something I do not want to worry about yet. I want to enjoy this victory. Because although I did not experience the chemo as a fight against cancer, finishing this project successfully feels like a victory.